NOTE: This post contains adult intimacy topics.
In my opinion, creating a new person is a truly magical and awe-inspiring process. Yes, it’s also painful, aggravating, and at times, very overwhelming.
We are now down to just a couple weeks left before our daughter is born, and I am filled with mixed emotions from excitement, nervousness, and eagerness, and there is also the occasional irritation. I would give anything to take the “difficult” parts of my wife’s pregnancy and carry the burden myself. I do everything I can to try and help her. Massage her when she needs it, make her meals, and make sure she’s taking her vitamins, but the hands going numb, the back pain, these are things I wish I could endure for her.
On the flip side of the hard times, being a male, I often feel cheated. I look at the smile on her face and feel her belly and the little movements, making me happy. To her, these “little” movements are much larger occurring throughout her entire body. But I will never honestly know what it feels like to have a baby, another person growing inside of me. These are times that biology and “you are what you are” indeed aggravate me.
But, I did find a magical moment that was incredible for my wife and for me, and I strongly encourage all people who have partners that are expecting to try this.
Not long ago, I was lying with my wife, her in front of me, just holding her, skin on skin, lying on our sides. That was where the magic happened (okay, get your minds out of the gutter for a second); I felt the baby move. But not just a little as if holding my hand to her belly, I felt the baby move throughout my whole abdomen. I could feel her head down near my pelvis all the way up to my ribcage. I looked at my wife in shock, “Is THAT what you feel all the time?”
She smiled and nodded. It was something that words couldn’t adequately describe. My baby girl wasn’t inside me, but I could almost feel as if she was. I could feel her leg (or arm, not sure which) punching out. I could feel her turnover. I was fixated on the amazement of the moment. Keep in mind that I wasn’t pressing hard against my wife’s belly, just in contact with it.
So, if you have a partner that is expecting and you feel left out, not being able to feel the baby they are carrying. Lay with them skin to skin, facing them, and feel for yourself. Not only will it make you feel not so left out, but you’ll also be able to experience a tender, intimate moment with them. Intimacy, holding, and feeling needed are critical in these moments. This satisfies all of these and more; it lets you connect with your baby and your partner personally and intimately.