I have so many amazing memories as a dad over the last 19 years. One that I’ve returned to many times is a particular afternoon when Elijah was about five years old. He had the day off from school due to a closure, so I took the day off work, and together we rode the commuter rail into Boston to act like tourists in our own city.
We started at Frog Pond, where he played on the playground and splashed through the water. Then, we headed to the Boston Public Garden and took a ride on the Swan Boats for the first time. Afterward, we visited the Prudential Tower and took the elevator to the top so he could look out over the city. Watching his face light up as he experienced all these new sights was magical. But what truly stayed with me wasn’t the activities—it was the time we spent together, just the two of us. That day was worth more to me than anything.
Visiting Yellowstone with the boys
When Ian was young, he and I went on several camping trips. They weren’t far, just over to Harold Parker State Forest for a night or two. It was a chance for him to sleep under the stars and experience nature in a way that felt new and exciting. While he wasn’t particularly fond of sleeping in the tent, he loved sitting by the fire, talking, making s’mores, and listening to the sounds of the forest. I can still remember holding him in my lap by the fire—those were moments to treasure. They’ve become touchstones in my mind, places I can revisit when I need a sense of inner peace.
The small moments in life, and even more so in your child’s life, are the most important. Being there for your child—at every concert you can attend, every small performance they have—matters deeply. Yes, it’s sometimes difficult with a full-time job, and let’s be honest, not every performance is particularly entertaining. But what’s most important is that you show up, that they see you in the audience or simply know you’re present.
Hamming it up with my youngest son
In today’s world, being truly present is even harder. With cell phones and endless distractions, it’s easy to fall into the trap of being physically there but mentally elsewhere. Believe me, I’m guilty of this too—it’s something I constantly work on. I’ve had to make a concerted effort to put my phone down and focus on the moment. The truth is, you don’t want your child to grow up remembering that mom or dad was there, but not really there because they were browsing the web or answering emails.
Being there for my children has meant listening when they’re troubled, supporting them when they need love, and connecting with them when they need someone to lean on. I want those connections to be with me, not someone else. That, to me, is what being a parent is all about.
With my daughter, who is still so young—not even two years old—it’s the little things that matter most. Flying her around the room, playing with puzzles, or reading books together are small moments, but they’re critical in building our bond. Sometimes, it’s as simple as dancing around the room or singing silly songs. These moments may seem insignificant, but they mean everything to her—and to me.
As I get older, I realize more and more how much patience plays a role in parenting. Whether it’s sitting and watching my daughter explore her toys or taking the time to really hear what my teenage sons are saying, being present helps me understand them better. I won’t claim to ever fully understand them, but that’s not the point. Parenting isn’t about perfection—it’s about showing up, trying your best, and giving your kids the most valuable thing you have: your time.
